He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
