I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
