I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
