White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
