i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
