Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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