yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
