I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize