No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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