Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
