oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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