Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
