Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
