So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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