dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
