So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Houston, we have a squirter
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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