Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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