The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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