God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize