Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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