She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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