Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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