Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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