Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I smell stomach acid.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
