oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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