I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize