I think scott just propositioned me for sex
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
