no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
