I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
