so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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