it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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