fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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