why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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