I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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