I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
