My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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