Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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