i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
