Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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