You really coming over, don't trick.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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