I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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