my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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