First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
