Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
