Where did you get a picture of my penis
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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