I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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