If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize