dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize