Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize