thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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