I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
