Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize