it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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