accomplished twins. life is a go
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
