you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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