ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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