There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.