the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend