I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier