Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore

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(562): glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore http://tfl.nu/a739

Replies (26) Good night (842) Bad night (964)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(908): The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels. http://tfl.nu/nz1k

Replies (5) Good night (4749) Bad night (804)
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(312): View more from Illinois

sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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(312): sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/20lq

Replies (21) Good night (697) Bad night (3711)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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(479): even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit... http://tfl.nu/fzja

Replies (60) Good night (4716) Bad night (1778)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.

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(405): Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine. http://tfl.nu/l1h6

Replies (25) Good night (6869) Bad night (1844)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(732): I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome. http://tfl.nu/zzpw

Replies (25) Good night (6857) Bad night (1135)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

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(832): I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card http://tfl.nu/wrdz

Replies (4) Good night (3336) Bad night (910)
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(817): View more from Texas

He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

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(817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp

Replies (8) Good night (2626) Bad night (920)
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(678): View more from Georgia

im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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(678): im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers http://tfl.nu/b3az

Replies (10) Good night (1724) Bad night (577)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera

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(410): I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera http://tfl.nu/vxvj

Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (583)
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(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

Replies (5) Good night (2928) Bad night (491)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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(815): Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?" http://tfl.nu/0929

Replies (3) Good night (1453) Bad night (485)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

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(614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g

Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (754)
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(847): View more from Illinois

As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

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(847): As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from. http://tfl.nu/gvun

Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (311)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.

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(612): Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wi6f

Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (226)

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