Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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  (870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!! http://tfl.nu/9cgb
  Replies (63) Good night (1047) Bad night (2202)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up

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  (718): Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up http://tfl.nu/269s
  Replies (7) Good night (550) Bad night (3822)
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  (805): View more from California

  found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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  (805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm
  Replies (24) Good night (6242) Bad night (582)
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  (818): View more from California

  Everything about him screamed your future.

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  (818): Everything about him screamed your future. http://tfl.nu/rljr
  Replies (4) Good night (3257) Bad night (928)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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  (520): I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie http://tfl.nu/225r
  Replies (39) Good night (7460) Bad night (1547)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed

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  (863): if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/59ub
  Replies (8) Good night (5403) Bad night (785)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

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  (202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh
  Replies (4) Good night (3248) Bad night (1015)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.

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  (405): Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment. http://tfl.nu/t7rb
  Replies (3) Good night (2373) Bad night (974)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"

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  (705): The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?" http://tfl.nu/11uf
  Replies (27) Good night (7203) Bad night (971)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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  (512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits? http://tfl.nu/6yhs
  Replies (84) Good night (1482) Bad night (10970)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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  (512): I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective http://tfl.nu/bge2
  Replies (8) Good night (1589) Bad night (600)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.

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  (512): I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW. http://tfl.nu/y0o7
  Replies (4) Good night (1336) Bad night (441)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing

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  (503): Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing http://tfl.nu/v3ef
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (211)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.

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  (303): Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk. http://tfl.nu/7e65
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (250)
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  (916): View more from California

  Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.

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  (916): Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand. http://tfl.nu/j2wp
  Replies (3) Good night (586) Bad night (519)

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