Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do you have feelings for this penis?