Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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(248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved

Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (840)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm half single.

(773): View more from Illinois

Please tell me it's the bottom half.

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(617): I'm half single. (773): Please tell me it's the bottom half. http://tfl.nu/3fsx

Replies (3) Good night (2426) Bad night (618)
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(765): View more from Indiana

It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.

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(765): It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt. (1-765): Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead. http://tfl.nu/kzx4

Replies (50) Good night (2167) Bad night (1417)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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(228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk

Replies (50) Good night (10593) Bad night (1011)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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(541): I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago. http://tfl.nu/gs96

Replies (50) Good night (5534) Bad night (1399)
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(207): View more from Maine

dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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(207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4

Replies (56) Good night (16056) Bad night (1825)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.

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(202): I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out. http://tfl.nu/ga8t

Replies (3) Good night (4879) Bad night (1008)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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(610): She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her. http://tfl.nu/io76

Replies (10) Good night (1092) Bad night (2564)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...

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(419): You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter... http://tfl.nu/2dxo

Replies (10) Good night (1625) Bad night (795)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?

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(517): Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night? http://tfl.nu/i8wb

Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (586)
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(309): View more from Illinois

he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

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(309): he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins' http://tfl.nu/d755

Replies (9) Good night (1918) Bad night (997)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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(843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps

Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (427)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i can only hope to be on your level one day.

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(215): i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window. (484): i can only hope to be on your level one day. http://tfl.nu/49sg

Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (332)
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(310): View more from California

Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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(310): Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent. http://tfl.nu/z8ey

Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (287)
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(858): View more from California

Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever

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(858): Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/t6bb

Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (266)

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