Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
