My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize