Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dicks are not precious.
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