i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
