that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ttyl tear gas
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
