you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
