I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
