she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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