Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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