he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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