this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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