I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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