I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize