dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
