it hurts more in the daytime
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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